I don't expect anyone reading these posts, they are random and they consist only of my own thoughts, feelings and ideas, more or less as an online diary but with a hope of a reply from a similar person - maybe. I imagined myself as being someone of some importance by this age but what I didn't imagine was that the person I will be with, won't be the same as I am. I am not important although I don't complain about my current work position or status, I gain my own money, I pay the bills, I try to grant my wishes but when you are in a couple, it is supposed that both persons should thing in the same direction..and I don't think my half is on the same page as I am! This is not a good thing although I tried to understand this situation for almost 3 years. What I want? Well I want my half to have a job and feel good about what he is doing, I want him to imagine good things that will come, to plan together future events and to see things in a brighter light...It is so damn hard to try and do all these things by your own but for 2 it is much more difficult. I am so close of giving up..I am constantly fighting to keep myself focused and to earn some penny not just for survival but also for traveling, for wanting a better status,a better life and when I see my half rejecting even a position that is not that great but that can help me with the money, I am so
disappointed..he doesn't understand the pressure I have and the efforts I put into working this relationship...I just want to see the interest from his part..not to be so laid-back...things don't fall from the sky, you need to work for what you want! I truly don't know what to do about this...he is out of luck for a good job but he doesn't even want to go to an offered job because it is difficult to lift some furniture...he doesn't think about the money he could bring home...especially if this job is just for 1-2 months...it's an opportunity and he rejects it...why??? Because the right job is right behind the corner? Come on...it will eventually come but in the meanwhile, do whatever it takes (legally) to keep things in a balance at home...and not to say no, I don't like it!!
I am stuck in a loop and have no idea what I should do..maybe the problem is the way I see the situation but still...I am 26 going on 27..and I really need some stability in my life...I hate putting my like in stand by for so long..I'm in such a big dilemma..I'm so sad!
